What’s in a name? Often a lot!
Take my name for instance. “Lida” is of Dutch origin and is the same as the name of a dear family friend of my parents. Recently, I had a conversation with a gentleman who repeatedly struggled to pronounce my name. As he continued to try to get it right, he began to giggle when he couldn’t pronounce my name correctly. He kept giggling, apparently entertaining himself. Then he started getting silly and singing the “Banana Fana Fo Fanna” song as I listened … unamused.
I gently offered a suggestion, “You can remember it as: ‘You can lead a horse to water’…” That didn’t seem to help. I was still called Lydia, Lisa and Linda for the remainder of our conversation.
Names are very personal. Whether your name is easy to pronounce (“Bob”) or more complicated (“Lida”) it is your unique calling card to the world, chosen by your parents. Some names carry history, legacy, special meaning or ethnic significance. Our world is global – in person and online. Today it is more common to encounter names that seem unusual to us.
When faced with a unique and hard-to-pronounce name, here are some suggestions:
1. Respect that the person’s name may have religious, cultural or personal significance. It’s all right to ask where their name comes from, but don’t mock the name or the fact that you struggle to pronounce it. Often, someone with a unique name is proud of the history and significance of the name and could share an interesting story!
2. Try for a mental match in your mind to help remember the pronunciation. My example (above) is one option, or try “Preeta” is pretty; “Ramone” was a popular band in the 80’s (Ramones); and “Suni” is sunny.
3. If the name is challenging to pronounce phonetically, ask for help. This isn’t the first time we’ve been asked to repeat our name. Someone with an unusual name is used to having it mispronounced, but appreciates being asked to clarify.
There is a lovely young lady who does pedicures in our local nail salon. Her nametag reads, “Dana” and she is from Mongolia. Recently, I asked her if Dana was her American name, and if so, what is her native name? She proudly told me her name in Mongolia is “Dahfka.” I said to myself, “Oh, like Kafka!” Every time I see her in the salon, I make a point of saying, “Hello, Dahfka!” and she is elated!
Kirsty Wertz says
My name is just a little unusual but mixed with my odd accent, folks in the states often have a hard time understanding me when I tell them my name. They call me Kristy, Cassie and other variations. So I tell them, “Like thirsty, but Kirsty” and it helps them. Most later simply call me Thirsty Kirsty which happens to be what the nurses called me when I was first born!
Deb Krier says
As the child of a woman named Tolly and as someone whose last name is continually mispronounced, this is an excellent post. To me, it’s a show of respect when someone asks how to say my name, then gets it right. I tell them it’s like “career” without the “ah.” But, if they continue to say it wrong after that, it sometimes lessens my opinion of them. My mother still has people call her Polly and worse, others ask if her name is some type of joke or nickname. She’s very proud of her unique name. Someone’s name is one of the most important parts of their personal brand and we should all strive to remember and respect that.
Nichole Bazemore says
Great post, Lida. My last name is pronounced phonetically, just as it’s spelled, but you’d be surprised how many people botch it up on a regular basis.
When you’re not sure how to pronounce someone’s name, the polite response is to simply ask, “how do you pronounce your name?” Oddly, I think more people are embarrassed to ask for help than they are to mis-pronounce a name.
Dana says
Great post! I agree; names are personal! What a disrespectful person to make fun of another’s name. Luckily, I am good with names! Funny story- I have a friend named Dana, but it is pronounced Donna. When I read her name, in my head I pronounce it just like mine, but my respect for her makes me concentrate to say it as her parents intended when I see her. Oh, and Lida is NOT hard!
Lida Citroen says
Great to know others have equally creative ways of responding to people who mispronounce our names. Knowing how challenging some of ours can be, I take the burden of helping others with phonetics (Leeedah) as do you!
And, yes, Dana, Lida can be tricky! Take it from me — Linda, Lisa, Lydia, Lita. I almost answer to anything nowadays 🙂